


Q and His Double-O's

by alex_kade



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Smut, all my fav 00s from my various AUs, except they're all just normal humans here, just a bunch of Q with his agents, just because i'm sure i'll be in the mood for it at some point, making stuff up as i go along!, probably, probably all the things, should probably tag smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex_kade/pseuds/alex_kade
Summary: Sometimes they make him smile, sometimes they make him sad, sometimes they make him so angry he wants to blow them all up himself, but Q can't imagine he would live a happy life without his 00-agents.A series of one shots as they hit me of Q's interactions with the agents of MI6. Anyone familiar with the Wings!AU stories and with some of Only_1_Truth's other AU's will know the names of all the 00's involved. Gregory, Saul, and Aiden are originally her creations, Thyra was a joint creation, and Kimi, Serena and Rey are my own. There are no fantastical AU elements in this collection though, just regular ol' human agents driving Q up the walls.
Relationships: Alec Trevelyan/Original Character(s), James Bond/Q, Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46
Collections: A Collection of Beloved Inserts





	1. On the Good Days

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has a request for any particular Q + agents scenario (any of them!), drop me a comment and let me know! I'll try to get to any prompt request asap!

Q loved his job. 

Most days he loved his job.

Alright, realistically maybe only about fifty percent of the time he loved his job. The other fifty was a mix of like, tolerate, dislike, and sometimes absolutely hate. Days he hated were ones in which things went wrong, namely when an agent of his was injured under his watch; and by injured it meant they were on the brink of death because anything less was just a scratch to a double-o. Days he disliked were the ones in which a mission had failed but without too much injury, or when they succeeded but with too many stressful bumps along the way and with too much loss of valuable tech.

Actually, no, he’d have to file loss of tech days under the ‘tolerate’ category because otherwise it would horribly skew his ratio of good days to bad ones, and he didn’t want to believe he really disliked his job. Agents made far too much of a habit of destroying his things to turn every encounter into a bad day. The same went for agents not listening to his advice or generally getting under his skin just for the sake of doing it. They never actually outright bullied him, after all, at least no more than they did with any of each other. Obnoxious as it all was, it simply meant he was part of the family, and thus that too had to be listed under ‘tolerate.’

He liked the days when missions went smoothly and both tech and agent returned in relatively one piece, and days when he wasn’t running missions at all. Those days were often spent inventing new gadgets and working on code, two activities he found to be most relaxing. He didn’t mind research days either, ones spent trying to track a mark or dig up blueprints for old buildings and things of the like. Essentially any day that didn’t involve stress but still engaged his overactive mind was a like day.

Then there were the days that Q loved.

There were the hours before and after work, of course, soft moments spent with James lounging on the bed or curled up against one another on the couch catching the latest comedy or drama film. They rarely watched action films—those were always either too far off the mark to be enjoyable realistic, or too close  _ to _ the mark to be anything other than uncomfortable. Romantic comedies were an odd favorite of theirs, but it was a secret the both of them would take to their graves lest they become the laughing stock of the entirety of MI6.

Those moments didn’t really count as loving his job though, at least not under Q’s standards, outside of the fact that it was work that had brought him and 007 together. Home was home and work as work, and the two of them acted (mostly) accordingly as their environment dictated. What Q  _ did _ love at work were the times when Bond would give him a warm smirk from across the table at a dull meeting, or when he would scowl and almost growl at people he knew Q didn’t like, and mostly when he would praise Q with his little ‘well done, Quartermaster’ said almost in a purr. Yes, working with James Bond had made his days much more enjoyable once they’d begun dating.

Outside of James though, he loved it most when some of those same mannerisms became apparent in his other agents. There was the seminar that dragged on for so many hours that Q had been ready to put a bullet in his own head until Alec signaled him from down the row a few seats, and they worked out a plan with only hand signals to shut down the presenter’s projector so they could all be freed from the monotony. It was the first time they’d worked together on such a prank/escape plan when bogged down by the bureaucracies of MI6, but it wouldn’t be their last.

Then there was that one day when Q had been suffering a horrible migraine, but there were too many vital things happening around the office for him to stay at home. Thyra had come in to report for her briefing and must’ve recognized Q’s rather pinched features for what they were, then promptly left his office for a moment to yell at everyone in Q Branch to shut the bloody hell up before she made them. They finished their mission brief in hushed tones and things stayed blissfully quiet for the rest of the day.

Q always enjoyed running Aiden on missions, naturally. That man was a blessing from on high in comparison to the others, always sharp and on time, always followed orders unless there was a damn good reason not to, and always returned his tech in top shape. More than that though, Q found he loved the days when Aiden and Alec were milling around MI6 together. As much as Q enjoyed the obedience Aiden displayed, he also rather enjoyed the moments when the man simply relaxed, when he let himself play, be a little mischievous, and mostly at the way he always smiled so softly and so intimately at Alec. There were centuries of love riding on those slightly tilted lips, and Q often wondered if that was how  _ he _ looked whenever he smiled at Bond.

Sometimes there were days when Serena came to challenge Q with invented mission scenarios and they would talk tactics for hours. More often than once those fabricated situations eventually became true to life, and those late-night discussions suddenly became life saving solutions to very real and very dangerous problems. There were other days though when she would be feeling mellow and in need of company, and on those days she would find Q for a quiet game of chess or rummy or sometimes wage all out war on him with a bit of Risk. And sometimes (though he would never tell) she wanted to play Mousetrap. Serena was a secret board game nerd, and she mostly only shared that with Q.

One day Q would never forget was the time when some pompous General was berating him in the hall for some reason or other that honestly Q wasn’t even paying attention to—he was keeping his expression impressively even for appearance's sake while internally his mind was contemplating the trigger mechanism on his latest explosive device—but the whole moment was interrupted when Gregory appeared behind Q like some sort of jungle cat. He didn’t say a word, simply bracketed his arm against the wall over Q’s shoulder and stared menacingly at the General very much like a large and hungry panther sizing up its prey. The Quartermaster couldn’t really fault the General for going a shade paler under that cobalt gaze, but it had been rather funny all the same to watch the man nearly scramble away. 

Saul was always something of an entertaining person to watch when he was off mission; on mission too, if Q were to be honest. He likened himself to be a bit of a lady’s man, and while he was rather handsome and could be rather smooth at times, he was never quite as successful at it as Bond. Q thought it had less to do with his skills and more to do with the fact that for some reason Saul always seemed to chase the women who were nearly impossible targets. He liked the challenge, Q supposed, even if he did strike out more often than not and most often quite comically. He was never disrespectful about it though, and Q had to give him credit for that. The women more often than not walked away laughing as well, putting a smile on everyone’s faces, including Saul’s.

Q would never confess this to anyone, but prank war days were always among his favorites. They seemed to only arise when there was enough down time between missions in which every agent was on home turf. And bored out of their minds. Instead of having enemies to turn against, they would often begin picking at each other until all manners of chaos reigned in the halls of MI6. One of the best wars was when Rey was still very new to the agency and came off much more naive and trusting than he actually was; he made a good bit of money off every other double-o as they offered to pay him to sneak into various areas where they were either not small enough or not flexible enough to get into. Rey was practically a circus performing ninja squirrel in comparison to the others, and planted so many pranks for everyone that he won the war without ever having come up with a single prank idea on his own. Q had paid him extra just to make sure his own office was never touched.

Then there were the days that weren’t fun at all, but they were still important to him simply because they reminded him how much  _ he _ was important to his agents. He wouldn’t say it was one of his favorite days by any means, but there was a time when he’d been caught in a partially collapsed building following a landslide while he was out on assignment with Kimi. He hadn’t been injured at all minus some bruises, but it had still been a harrowing day of being essentially buried alive under excessive amounts of dirt and rubble that could crush the rest of the building down on him and the others trapped in the room with him. They’d all been dug out hours later, and much to his surprise, Kimi actually pulled him into a tight hug. He was sure there were tears involved, but he wouldn’t embarrass her by pointing them out, especially not when it had been one of the only times she’d expressed that she even cared at all about him. He never doubted where he stood with her after that moment.

Yes, as much as Q enjoyed being a genius introvert who revelled in the delights brought forth by computers and patterns and the creation of new manners of destruction, his favorite thing about working at MI6 was getting to spend time with the double-o’s (even though they were also often the harbingers of his worst days). But still, whether they were heckling him or plotting with him, laughing with him or crying alongside him, disobeying his orders or standing up to protect him, every moment they were alive and with him was a moment he treasured.

Fifty percent of the time Q was not in favor of his job.

One hundred percent of the time Q was in favor of his exasperating double-o’s. 


	2. Triple Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lesson in double-o assignments: Don't let 006 and 007 have the rookie agent. Or the one in which Q is tempted to let MI6 fall three agents short, he's so done with them.

“Why do I bother? Why do I even bother?” Q huffed as he wrenched his earpiece out and tossed it on the table in front of him. 

M must have gone mental, he was sure of it, because he couldn’t think of a single other reason why the man would’ve assigned 006, 007 and 008 on a mission together. Bond and Trevelyan were horrible enough on their own; together they were essentially impossible to deal with. And Courtemanche, he was far too impressionable and eager to please still, so they made a horrible influence on him.

Q had been about pulling out his hair trying to guide them through their mission, but the entire time it was as if left were right, up was down, and forwards became backwards. They didn’t listen to a single word he said and now the three were scattered all over the place, none of whom where they were supposed to be. 

“Quartermaster, 007 is asking for you,” one of his underlings called out to him, but Q continued to fume at his abandoned earpiece.

“Tell him he’s done just fine without me so far so he can just finish this mission on his own.”

He waited a beat for the underling to figure out that he was rather serious, and once she delivered the message she seemed to pale slightly at the response. “Sir, 007 says that 008 seems to have gotten himself stuck in the vent he and 006 told him to crawl through.”

Q pinched the bridge of his nose and tilted his head at the ceiling momentarily, praying for patience before he delicately lifted his earpiece and readied himself for the next catastrophe in this despicable mission. 

“Bond,” he started. “Why did you tell 008 to crawl into an air shaft?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” was his agent’s smarmy reply. Yes, James was his agent at the moment and very certainly _not_ his boyfriend, not while Q was this very furious with him.

Alec’s voice cut in next, which only served to dampen Q’s mood even more given that the impossible man was bloody _laughing_! “He was supposed to crawl through and meet us up on the other side of the building with the package. The plan was for us to be bait while he made a clean getaway.”

“No,” the Quartermaster seethed. “The _plan_ was for you and Rey to be bait while Bond slipped in once the room was cleared to abscond with the package. Undetected.”

“Rey’s smaller and faster,” Alec argued. “How were we supposed to know the bloody shaft we sent him through would narrow out?”

“If you had asked, I would have _told_ you as much!”

Q refrained (barely) from removing his earbud once again and throwing it against the wall. As much as he hated the useless destruction of tech, it would’ve been rather satisfying to watch it explode into pieces right about then. Instead, he sucked in a deep breath and opened up the line to include Rey’s channel.

“008, I hear you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of a predicament.”

“Yeah,” Courtemanche grunted out, sounding like he was trying to wriggle his way around while he talked. “Almost at the other side though. I can see the light.”

Closing his eyes, Q had to count to three so he wouldn’t yell at the rookie agent. “You clearly don’t fit, Rey. You’ll have to backtrack and come out the way you came. I’ll send 006 and 007 back to get you.”

“Not a good idea, Quartermaster,” Bond smoothly cut in. “Too many hostiles now. Alec and I are weaving our way to the other side of the vent now.”

“If we can—ow, fuck, sorry—widen the shaft just a little bit I can get out,” 008 offered oh-so-helpfully. “If I can reach my pocket…”

Q’s eyes widened momentarily as he remembered the tech he had given each agent, most of which was probably already destroyed by now, and thought about what could be small enough to fit in Courtemanche’s pocket.

“008, do _not_ trigger that disc, do you hear me? Under no circumstances are you to engage that device while you are still inside that vent!”

“But—”

“I think you might want to listen to him on this one,” 006 chuckled, and Q could’ve praised the gods that the man was finally seeing some reason if not for the fact that he’d had the thought a bit prematurely. The next suggestion out of Alec’s mouth was so ludicrous he could scream! “But if you toss it out to us and move back a ways, I think we can set it to blow closer to the exit and it’ll do enough damage to make room for you.”

Q once again removed his earpiece but this time laid it gently on the table, folding his hands over it with a determined thinning of his lips. “I’m done with the lot of them. If they want to get their bloody selves killed then so be it.”

There was a frozen moment of silence in Q Branch as everyone but Q listened in to what was going on. The previous underling who was still standing nearby gave him a rather concerned look. “Sir, I think they’re actually going to do it,” she nearly whispered.

“Let them.”

“But, sir, that disc—”

His fist hit the surface of the table. “Dammit, I know!” He scooped up his comm and shoved it back in his head. “Gentlemen, if there is one thing you will listen to me about on this bloody mission, it’s this: I built that tech, I know what it’s capable of, and if you trigger it inside that shaft while Rey is still in it, you will lose both him and the package, do you understand me?”

There was silence for a beat before Bond’s calm voice filtered through. “Loud and clear, Quartermaster. Any other suggestions?”

He had to think for a moment, eyes shifting along blueprints and structural information that his people were placing up in front of him on the screens. He caught sight of one little detail that put a slowly-spreading smile across his lips.

“006,” he grinned in a way that made even his own staff take a step back away from him. “I need you to crawl into the shaft from your end.”

Another moment of silence followed his words, and then a very exasperated Alec spoke out. “You’re bloody insane! If Rey can’t fit through there, I bloody well can’t!”

“Precisely.” Q was having one of his mad genius moments, and his idea would work, but it also helped to be getting a little revenge at the same time. “The air duct is old and rather flimsy in comparison to more modern structures. 008 lacks the body mass and muscle to wedge his way through, but the metal should dent out around your bulk and brute strength just fine.”

He could hear James chuckling now too, the sound lighting up his grin even more. 

“Don’t enjoy yourself too much, Bond,” he cut in. “If Rey is in there too deeply then you’ll be crawling in after 006 to pull him back out.”

“I’ll be ready, Q,” 007 answered, and Q could still hear the amused grin on his face.

Rey had been listening quietly to the plan this whole time with no arguments. His only input was agreeing to wait patiently as Alec began to force his way in. Much cursing on Alec’s part and laughing on James’s part, and a brief intermission where Bond was forced to defend their position later, and 006 had finally pounded his way through the shaft close enough to 008 to reach him. 

“Can you get your arm up here, boy?” Q heard him grunt out, and then very nearly lost his proverbial shit when Rey agreed and a moment later Alec was cursing all over again, along with practically gagging. “No, don’t make me pull on that! That’s disgusting!”

“I couldn’t fit it any other way!” Courtemanche protested. “It doesn’t hurt, just grab it!”

“Double-jointed, contortionist, circus monkey freak,” Trevelyan continued to bite out as Q assumed he was reaching for Rey’s now-dislocated arm. Q honestly couldn’t blame him for being unnerved by the situation really; watching 008 pop limbs out to move them the wrong way around his body was always a talent that could make anyone a little green around the gills. Still, it did have its advantages at times.

Q listened in with tightly-held breath as Bond’s curses joined into the mix, who did in fact have to crawl in a little ways to give a tug on Alec’s ankles. It was a rather messy extraction, but in the end saw all three agents out on the other side along with the package, all very not blown up.

“Are you all alright?” he couldn’t help but ask despite his previous annoyance at the three of them. 

“Making our way out now,” 007 responded. “Rey’s having a bit of trouble setting his shoulder back in, I think from the pulling, but we’ll take care of it once we’re cleared.”

“Very well, James. Head towards the south wall, if you would. That’s going to be your cleanest exit.’

Q smiled as he watched all three shift their direction immediately to do as told. They’d had their fun, made their foolish mistakes, and were ready to listen now. They wouldn’t remember learning anything from this by the next time they were assigned together, Q knew, but for now they would be fine and he could breathe again in peace. 

_End_


	3. Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond plays D&D like he complete his missions, which means not smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @BladeFeathers on twitter who requested general 00Q fluff. I don't know why it went this direction but the brain said tabletop gaming!

“No, James, you can’t do that.” Q sighed and refrained from pinching the bridge of his nose as he often did when he was frustrated with one of his 00’s, but Bond was honestly trying this time and he didn’t want to discourage him.

007 tilted his head at his Quartermaster, his lips turned down in a small moue that revealed his equal frustration. “Why not? I can make that jump easily.”

With a shake of his head, Q leaned across the table to scoop up the tiny plastic figurine from the map. “You can, yes, but Normir the dwarf  _ can’t _ . His legs are too short and his body too dense to make that leap.”

“This is dumb.”

Q honestly couldn’t help but laugh as James slouched back on the couch cushions and folded his arms over his chest like a petulant child. Never could he have predicted that something as innocently simple as a game could bring out this side of the infamous Jame Bond. As difficult as he was being, it was also rather enduring. 

“You’re the one who wanted to play a dwarf,” he chuckled a little. “Come now, you just have to think of things like you would if you were on a difficult mission. What if this chasm  _ wasn’t _ something you could jump in real life?”

“In real life I wouldn’t have run towards a chasm I couldn’t jump in the first place,” 007 continued to grumble.

Q tutted at him. “You had no choice. You’re here now, you have to figure out how to survive. What are your options?”

There was a long moment when Q was certain James was just going to sit there and not resume the game, but finally he dragged himself forward again to look at the map spread across the table and down at his character sheet. Q remained quiet during the process, letting Bond think it out as opposed to being the voice in his ear that told him what to do—this was D&D after all, the game wouldn’t be any fun if he didn’t let his players think for themselves. 

“I don’t like the idea of fighting. I’m alone and outnumbered,” 007 hummed, eyes taking on a slight squint as if he were actually assessing the situation in real life. “How narrow is that ledge in the canyon below?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Q’s lips. “Wide enough for a dwarf, especially with your stability modifier.”

James looked over his sheet again. “It’s too far to jump down, isn’t it?”

“It is. You’re welcome to try, but I will tell you that the odds of it going in your favor are not good.”

Nodding absently, James continued to study the situation, taking full advantage that unlike in real life, he had all the time in the world to come up with a solution.

“Q?” he hummed in that way that let the Quartermaster know he was about to do something probably destructive. “The leathers and garments from the Elven king. He said they were indestructible, right?”

“Yes…” Q was too curious where he was going with this to say anything more. 

“Does that include all the bindings?”

Really, he should’ve seen this coming. Of  _ course _ Bond would find a way to ruin a perfectly good Elven gift that was supposed to be there to protect him. But this was a game and if that was what the player wanted to do, so be it.

“Yes it does,” he replied promptly and waited for James to describe his plan to pull all the bindings and lacing from the boots, bracers, trousers and shirt, tying them all together to make a rope of sorts that he could climb down. He of course had to sacrifice his axe in the process as well, wedging it into the rock at the edge of the cliff as an anchor for the rope. He did, thankfully, pass his climb check and made it safely to the ledge below.

“I’ll head north along the ravine and meet the rest of the party up there,” the agent finished, sitting back rather smugly. “How was that for problem solving?”

He didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to, but honestly Q couldn’t help himself. 007 looked so bloody proud at his overly complicated solution that it almost irked him. No wonder the man never came back with his tech kit intact.

“Yes, well done, James,” he smirked. “You have nearly 5 kilometers to travel, you have no weapon and your clothes are practically falling off. What happens if you run into a stone golem down there?”

Bond’s brow twitched. “ _ Am _ I going to run into a stone golem?”

“No. I’m not that cruel,” Q admitted. “Really though, James, I had expected you to just use your axe as a climbing pick to make your way down. With your dwarven strength you would’ve been able to manage that well enough. There was no need to complicate anything.”

There was another long pause, but if James was ruffled by this simple solution he was stubborn enough not to show it. Instead he merely shrugged and flashed Q a warm smile. “Life would be dull if not for complications.”

“Yes, and I would spend far less time running after you trying to make sure you don’t get yourself killed. It seems even in a game I have to play Quartermaster.” He began rolling for his own characters and NPCs, diverting them from their previous tasks so he could make sure they’d be in the right place at the right time for them to get Normir out of his predicament. 

“Well it’s a good thing you enjoy playing the Quartermaster who has to rescue his agents from their own chaos. The brave and noble Sir Q, always keeping even the fiercest of his party safe from harm.”

_ Sir Q _ . He decided he rather liked that, as well as the amused spark dancing in James’s eyes as he looked at him. He liked it even more when he was gifted with a warm kiss.

“Stop buttering me up, James,” he murmured once the kiss was broken. “You left your axe, you’re not getting it back.”

James snorted and returned to his crossed-arm position. “I had to try. I liked that axe.”

“You’ll have to buy a new one.”

“I have no money left.”

“Complete the quest and you’ll get paid.”

James threw his arms up in the air. “How do I complete the quest with no weapons?”

Q patted his knee. “You’ll figure it out, James. You always do. Even if you have to use your shoelaces to do it.”

Bond pouted once again. “I hate this game.”

“I know.”

And yet they continued playing straight through the night.

_ The End _


End file.
